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Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong

Description:

For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on award-winning journalist Steven Petrow's wildly popular New York Times essay, "Things I'll Do Differently When I Get Old."

Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.

The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way...

In
Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’”

Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding.

Praise for Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old:

“Unbelievably witty and relatable, I alternated bursting into laughter and placing my hand over my face in horror thinking, Oh my God, is that me? I often say, at this age we have something young people can never have…wisdom. My dear friend, Steven Petrow, has wisdom to share in this honest, funny, wry guide to keep us young at heart, without desperately hanging onto our youth. I am buying this book for all of my friends!”
—Suzanne Somers, New York Times bestselling author of A New Way to Age

“Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old is an irreverent, funny, honest look at aging and all the things we take for granted as normal parts of aging. They don’t need to be. If you struggle with getting older and want to find a fresh perspective on lessons learned about what NOT to do as we age, and what TO do to stay young in heart, spirit, mind and body, read this book.”
—Mark Hyman, MD, #1 New York Times bestseller author of The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet, and Head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine.

“Steven Petrow resolved to do things differently than his parents had when he gets old because he wished they’d been able to enjoy life more. His solution? He created a list! In this book, he shares the secrets to living a full life regardless of our age. It's all about the decisions we make every day. My advice in a nutshell: Read this book and keep it handy.”
—“Dear Abby” (Jeanne Phillips), nationally syndicated advice columnist

“It’s never too early to imagine what your life will look like as you age. And as I once wrote, ‘We are not hostages to our fate.’ Petrow’s book will help you plan, think, and redefine what it means to get older—and even laugh while doing it.”
—Andrew Weil, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Spontaneous Healing and Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Well-Being

“Steven Petrow not only has a great attitude about life, he is wise about how to live it. Like me, he says we should embrace our one life 100% and not let a number—our age—get in the way of anything! Steven’s book will help you rethink the word “aging” and approach this next chapter with a positive and proactive attitude. Plus, this book is fun!”
—Denise Austin, renowned fitness expert, author, and columnist

“Steven’s writing feels like sitting with a friend—one who is unusually gracious, warm and frank.” —Carolyn Hax, author of the nationally syndicated advice column, Carolyn Hax


Praise for Steven Petrow:
"Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners helps gays and straights navigate the subtleties of the same-sex world."
People

"Move over, Emily Post! When it comes to etiquette for members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community—as well as their straight friends, family members and coworkers--author and journalist Steven Petrow is the authority."
—TIME

"What could've easily become a novelty book has emerged as an exhaustively researched, essential resource thanks to advice columnist and etiquette expert Steven Petrow."
The Advocate

"From having kids to planning funerals, Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners has most facets of gay life covered. Ms. Post would approve."
Entertainment Weekly

"An indispensable refresher course...on what's proper in modern...life."
Kirkus Reviews


Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old:

“Petrow can’t prevent you from becoming your parents, but he can remind you how a positive attitude, gratitude, patience, and compassion can make a big difference.”
Booklist

“Unbelievably witty and relatable, I alternated bursting into laughter and placing my hand over my face in horror thinking, Oh my God, is that me? I often say, at this age we have something young people can never have…wisdom. My dear friend, Steven Petrow, has wisdom to share in this honest, funny, wry guide to keep us young at heart, without desperately hanging onto our youth. I am buying this book for all of my friends!” 
—Suzanne Somers, New York Times bestselling author of A New Way to Age
 
“Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old is an irreverent, funny, honest look at aging and all the things we take for granted as normal parts of aging. They don’t need to be. If you struggle with getting older and want to find a fresh perspective on lessons learned about what NOT to do as we age, and what TO do to stay young in heart, spirit, mind and body, read this book.” 

—Mark Hyman, MD, #1
New York Times bestseller author of The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet, and Head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine.
 
 “Steven Petrow resolved to do things differently than his parents had when he gets old because he wished they’d been able to enjoy life more. His solution? He created a list! In this book, he shares the secrets to living a full life regardless of our age. It's all about the decisions we make every day. My advice in a nutshell: Read this book and keep it handy.” 
—“Dear Abby” (Jeanne Phillips), nationally syndicated advice columnist
 
“It’s never too early to imagine what your life will look like as you age.  And as I once wrote, ‘We are not hostages to our fate.’ Petrow’s book will help you plan, think, and redefine what it means to get older—and even laugh while doing it.”
—Andrew Weil, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Spontaneous Healing and Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Well-Being
 
“Steven Petrow not only has a great attitude about life, he is wise about how to live it. Like me, he says we should embrace our one life 100% and not let a number—our age—get in the way of anything! Steven’s book will help you rethink the word “aging” and approach this next chapter with a positive and proactive attitude. Plus, this book is fun!” 
—Denise Austin, renowned fitness expert, author, and columnist
 
“Steven’s writing feels like sitting with a friend—one who is unusually gracious, warm and frank.” 
—Carolyn Hax, author of the nationally syndicated advice column, Carolyn Hax


Praise for Steven Petrow:
"Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners helps gays and straights navigate the subtleties of the same-sex world." 
People

"Move over, Emily Post! When it comes to etiquette for members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community--as well as their straight friends, family members and coworkers--author and journalist Steven Petrow is the authority." 
TIME

"What could've easily become a novelty book has emerged as an exhaustively researched, essential resource thanks to advice columnist and etiquette expert Steven Petrow."
The Advocate

"From having kids to planning funerals, Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners has most facets of gay life covered. Ms. Post would approve." 
Entertainment Weekly

"An indispensable refresher course...on what's proper in modern...life." 
Kirkus Reviews

About the Author

Steven Petrow is an award-winning journalist and author best known for his Washington Post and New York Times essays on aging, health, and civility. He’s currently an opinion columnist covering manners and civil discourse for USA Today, and his 2019 TED Talk, “3 Ways to Practice Civility” has been viewed nearly two million times and translated into 16 languages. Formerly the host and executive producer of "The Civilist," a podcast from Public Radio International and North Carolina Public Radio WUNC, Steven regularly appears on television and radio. He's the author of six books, including Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners and Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old. A former president of NLGJA: The Association of LGBTQ Journalists, Steven is the recipient of numerous awards and grants, including those from the National Endowment for the Humanities, the Smithsonian Institution, the Ucross Foundation, the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts, and the National Press Foundation. In 2017, he became the named sponsor of the Steven Petrow LGBTQ Fellowship at the VCCA, a prize that is awarded annually. Steven lives in Hillsborough, N.C. with his cocker spaniel, Binx Bolling. Please visit him online at StevenPetrow.com.

Reviews:

5.0 out of 5 stars Delightful and Insightful

W.W. · June 10, 2025

As an elder, I found myself both schooled and challenged--also amused and inspired. Growing old is a privilege, a gift. This book is an aid to doing so gracefully.

4.0 out of 5 stars A fairly amusing book on things not to do when growing old.

J.J.T. · July 4, 2023

As someone well into my senior years who has been a voracious reader for more than 7 decades, I am always seeking interesting material to read. This is why when I saw this very humorous, entertaining and honest 257 page hardcover book (Stupid things I won’t do when I get old by Steven Petrow with Roseann Foley Henry) on Bolo I decided to purchase it.This book explores the many changes that naturally occur as one grows older. Indeed, I related too many of the stories in this volume. With more than 8 decades behind me but still very active physically and mentally, (though some might disagree with my own personal assessment), I found this book relevant to anyone who thinks they will be young forever, and all of a sudden, they realize they are old.This sometimes amusing book is organized into three parts and some of the topics covered include the following: “I won’t color my hair (even though it worked for Diane Sawyer), I won’t be afraid to fall (yes, you read that right), I won’t limit myself to friends my own age, I won’t lie about my age, I won’t avoid looking at myself in the mirror, I won’t pass up a chance to pee, I won’t stop believing in magic, I won’t stop enjoying myself, I won’t fall to scams, schemes and sleaze balls, I won’t smell like a decrepit old man, I won’t let anyone treat me with disrespect, I won’t let anything stop me from saying I love you,” and many other great pieces of personal advice to the aged.In conclusion, the thing about youth is that one never thinks they are going to be old someday. All of a sudden (at least that is what it seems like) you enter the 60s, 70, s 80s and above and you realize “I can’t believe I got so old.” Yes, it is a blessing in many ways, but in my mind, I will always try to "remain forever young." This fairly humorous and entertaining book may help to guide you into the joys and pitfalls of growing old.Rating: 4 Stars. Joseph J. Truncale (Author: The Samurai Soul: An old warrior’s poetic tribute).

5.0 out of 5 stars Tempted to buy a copy for everyone I know!

D. · January 2, 2025

Written with humor, insight, and self-reflection, I enjoyed reading this so much that I was sad when I reached the end of the book. Rather than a book of to-do lists, the author shares his experience, as his parents aged and passed away, learning along the way how he hopes to respond differently to the process and preparation for aging and dying. This is far from a morbid introspection. I laughed out loud at times and found myself near tears at others. I hope to apply some of what I learned along the way. It is not an exaggeration that I thought of buying a copy for each of my sisters and children! I definitely have recommended it to them. I actually hope to keep my copy handy as a reference as I apply some of the things I learned…I’m looking at you - overflowing closets!

3.0 out of 5 stars Not exactly what we expected.

m. · December 7, 2023

It has some endearing qualities, but overall, not what we expected. The author seems unhappy with his life. It comes through at times in the essays, which is sad.

5.0 out of 5 stars The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

b. · August 7, 2025

Steven Petrow writes about everything I have figured out about aging but, with a clarity and freshness that makes it less scary. This is definitely going onto my Christmas gift list for the people I still have in my life.

4.0 out of 5 stars Stupid Things

D.o.j. · June 14, 2025

I read this book because I'm old. Already old. But I thought maybe there would be some pebbles I could gather to form a grotto for my transitioning. I think I did find a couple aforementioned pebbles and for that I am grateful. It was a worthwhile read. I wish I had known you, Steven, and your father, Professor Petrow. (Probably too many commas in that sentence but I like them there.)

5.0 out of 5 stars book arrived in new condition.The author makes his points with good stories and humor.

s. · October 14, 2024

I suggest to anyone nearing or now in retirement. The author reminds me of what a pain in the @XX you can become to others if you let yourself go in retirement. He does so with gentle humor and personal stories. Fun book to read.

2.0 out of 5 stars Not for everyone

D. · July 7, 2025

Unfortunately not for the general reader. The authors personal lifestyle experiences overwhelm the universalism of the topic. Reading it began well, but at every opportunity the author climbed up on his off-topic soapbox. More of a book-long rant, more appropriate to a podcast or other media.

Rubbish

E.R. · July 9, 2024

Unfunny, narcissistic nonsense.

Will help readers think about topics we’d rather ignore

O. · August 26, 2025

I was attracted to this book by its title (I’ve just crossed the threshold of 60, and I live with and look after my mother, in her mid-eighties), as I thought I would easily identify with many of the topics discussed, and, as tends to be the case, I also realised that I was not the only one to notice some of the behaviours of the older generation and to worry about what I’d become like when I got there.I tried a brief sample of the book and found it funny, and as I’ve been trying to read books on similar topics that might also bring a smile to my face, I thought this was a good book to try.First, I wanted to let possible readers know that if they are followers of the author and have read many of his articles, they might be familiar with some of the content, as the book includes several edited and expanded versions of some articles Petrow has published in the past, so I’d recommend checking the content in detail to avoid disappointment.Second, this volume was not exactly what I expected. Yes, there are chapters that made me nod, smile, and chuckle a bit, but it is not a funny book from cover to cover. In a chapter, there might be experiences or anecdotes that are funny, but also content that is fairly serious and even some pretty emotional and moving. People reading it to take their minds off worries or the concerning aspects of ageing might find that they have bitten more than they can chew.But, third, that does not mean I am disappointed. Although I can’t recall reading anything by Petrow before, so he is not somebody whose life experience I was familiar with before reading this book, I particularly enjoyed his candid reflections about his life, his family, his friends, his circumstances, and the people, advice, and readings that had made an impact on his view of life. I don’t have a lot in common with the author (I love reading and writing, have an elderly parent with her own ideas about things, very different to mine, and have no spouse or children who might be around when my time comes. That is all), but, in spite of that, I connected with many of his concerns, observations, and goals. And some of the chapters made me think in more depth about some issues that have crossed my mind more than once, even if most people don’t want to face them (not only one’s own mortality, but also practical arrangements, like what to do with your stuff, where would you live if you cannot do so with full independence, and what legacy you want to leave behind). I felt that the book started on lighter topics and moved towards more serious and personal ones, and I felt moved by much of what the author shared (especially about his relationship with his parents and friends) towards the end. That is not surprising, as the book is divided into three self-explanatory parts: Stupid Things I Won’t Do Today, Stupid Things I Won’t Do Tomorrow, and Stupid Things I Won’t Do at “The End”.The writing is excellent, and, although some of the details he shares (when talking about specific services available or locations, to name only two) might not be directly comparable to the readers’ own, the concepts and the questions it raises are easy to adapt to each individual’s personal circumstances.To give you an idea of some of what you might find in the book, I include the title of some of the chapters:I Won’t Limit Myself to Friends My Own AgeI Won’t Join the “Organ Recital” (As you might suspect, the author refers to exchanging complaints about physical ailments and shortcomings with friends and acquaintances you meet)I Won’t Become a Miserable Malcontent, a Cranky Curmudgeon, or a Surly SourpussI Won’t Tell My Life Story When Someone Asks, “How Are You?”I Won’t Wait Until I’m Dead to Get a Hearing Aid (or, “What? What Did You Say?”)I Won’t Forget to Plan My Own FuneralThis volume also includes an introduction that explains how the book came to be (why he started keeping a list of things not to do like his parents, and how he later realised what this list was really about), an afterword, a section of acknowledgments, and also a few words by Roseann Foley Henry (who is listed as co-author on the cover and explains what she feels she has contributed to the book).This is a non-fiction book that deals with many topics people of a certain age start thinking about (even if they’d much rather avoid them) and does so sensitively, with touches of light humour and plenty of self-deprecation. It is divided into chapters, although sometimes the content strays off topic, and there is some repetition of ideas and concepts, because many of these subjects are interconnected. The chapters can be read in any order one chooses, although I felt there was a logical progression when read as published, and the collection worked well for me as a single read. I am sure I will come back to revisit some of the chapters and the parts I have highlighted in the future.Recommended to anybody interested in these types of topics and to fans of the writer (with the warning I included earlier).

So true. We grow up to be our parents

D. · October 22, 2024

Humorous, and if you want to know what’s coming as you age.

Okay, Got a Couple of Things From It

M.A. · January 26, 2025

Good writer but found it a little repetitive in places.

insight

J.M. · February 3, 2024

Not a book I would normally choose. That being said, I enjoyed it very much. Makes me think of my parents. They both died much to young, especially my Father. Thank you!

Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong

Product ID: U0806541008
Condition: New

4.1

AED7621

Price includes VAT & Import Duties
Type: Hardcover
Availability: In Stock

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Order today to get by 7-14 business days

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Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong

Product ID: U0806541008
Condition: New

4.1

Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong-0
Type: Hardcover

AED7621

Price includes VAT & Import Duties
Availability: In Stock

Quantity:

|

Order today to get by 7-14 business days

Delivery fee of AED 20. Free for orders above AED 200.

Returns & Warranty policies

Imported From: United States

At BOLO, we work hard to ensure the products you receive are new, genuine, and sourced from reputable suppliers.

BOLO is not an authorized or official retailer for most brands, nor are we affiliated with manufacturers unless specifically stated on a product page. Instead, we source verified sellers, authorized distributors or directly from the manufacturer.

Each product undergoes thorough inspection and verification at our consolidation and fulfilment centers to ensure it meets our strict authenticity and quality standards before being shipped and delivered to you.

If you ever have concerns regarding the authenticity of a product purchased from us, please contact Bolo Support. We will review your inquiry promptly and, if necessary, provide documentation verifying authenticity or offer a suitable resolution.

Your trust is our top priority, and we are committed to maintaining transparency and integrity in every transaction.

All product information, images, descriptions, and reviews originate from the manufacturer or from trusted sellers overseas. BOLO is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or an authorized retailer for most brands listed on our website unless stated otherwise.

While we strive to display accurate information, variations in packaging, labeling, instructions, or formulation may occasionally occur due to regional differences or supplier updates. For detailed or manufacturer-specific information, please contact the brand directly or reach out to BOLO Support for assistance.

Unless otherwise stated, all prices displayed on the product page include applicable taxes and import duties.

BOLO operates in accordance with the laws and regulations of United Arab Emirates. Any items found to be restricted or prohibited for sale within the UAE will be cancelled prior to shipment. We take proactive measures to ensure that only products permitted for sale in United Arab Emirates are listed on our website.

All items are shipped by air, and any products classified as “Dangerous Goods (DG)” under IATA regulations will be removed from the order and cancelled.

All orders are processed manually, and we make every effort to process them promptly once confirmed. Products cancelled due to the above reasons will be permanently removed from listings across the website.

Description:

For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on award-winning journalist Steven Petrow's wildly popular New York Times essay, "Things I'll Do Differently When I Get Old."

Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.

The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way...

In
Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’”

Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding.

Praise for Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old:

“Unbelievably witty and relatable, I alternated bursting into laughter and placing my hand over my face in horror thinking, Oh my God, is that me? I often say, at this age we have something young people can never have…wisdom. My dear friend, Steven Petrow, has wisdom to share in this honest, funny, wry guide to keep us young at heart, without desperately hanging onto our youth. I am buying this book for all of my friends!”
—Suzanne Somers, New York Times bestselling author of A New Way to Age

“Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old is an irreverent, funny, honest look at aging and all the things we take for granted as normal parts of aging. They don’t need to be. If you struggle with getting older and want to find a fresh perspective on lessons learned about what NOT to do as we age, and what TO do to stay young in heart, spirit, mind and body, read this book.”
—Mark Hyman, MD, #1 New York Times bestseller author of The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet, and Head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine.

“Steven Petrow resolved to do things differently than his parents had when he gets old because he wished they’d been able to enjoy life more. His solution? He created a list! In this book, he shares the secrets to living a full life regardless of our age. It's all about the decisions we make every day. My advice in a nutshell: Read this book and keep it handy.”
—“Dear Abby” (Jeanne Phillips), nationally syndicated advice columnist

“It’s never too early to imagine what your life will look like as you age. And as I once wrote, ‘We are not hostages to our fate.’ Petrow’s book will help you plan, think, and redefine what it means to get older—and even laugh while doing it.”
—Andrew Weil, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Spontaneous Healing and Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Well-Being

“Steven Petrow not only has a great attitude about life, he is wise about how to live it. Like me, he says we should embrace our one life 100% and not let a number—our age—get in the way of anything! Steven’s book will help you rethink the word “aging” and approach this next chapter with a positive and proactive attitude. Plus, this book is fun!”
—Denise Austin, renowned fitness expert, author, and columnist

“Steven’s writing feels like sitting with a friend—one who is unusually gracious, warm and frank.” —Carolyn Hax, author of the nationally syndicated advice column, Carolyn Hax


Praise for Steven Petrow:
"Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners helps gays and straights navigate the subtleties of the same-sex world."
People

"Move over, Emily Post! When it comes to etiquette for members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community—as well as their straight friends, family members and coworkers--author and journalist Steven Petrow is the authority."
—TIME

"What could've easily become a novelty book has emerged as an exhaustively researched, essential resource thanks to advice columnist and etiquette expert Steven Petrow."
The Advocate

"From having kids to planning funerals, Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners has most facets of gay life covered. Ms. Post would approve."
Entertainment Weekly

"An indispensable refresher course...on what's proper in modern...life."
Kirkus Reviews


Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old:

“Petrow can’t prevent you from becoming your parents, but he can remind you how a positive attitude, gratitude, patience, and compassion can make a big difference.”
Booklist

“Unbelievably witty and relatable, I alternated bursting into laughter and placing my hand over my face in horror thinking, Oh my God, is that me? I often say, at this age we have something young people can never have…wisdom. My dear friend, Steven Petrow, has wisdom to share in this honest, funny, wry guide to keep us young at heart, without desperately hanging onto our youth. I am buying this book for all of my friends!” 
—Suzanne Somers, New York Times bestselling author of A New Way to Age
 
“Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old is an irreverent, funny, honest look at aging and all the things we take for granted as normal parts of aging. They don’t need to be. If you struggle with getting older and want to find a fresh perspective on lessons learned about what NOT to do as we age, and what TO do to stay young in heart, spirit, mind and body, read this book.” 

—Mark Hyman, MD, #1
New York Times bestseller author of The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet, and Head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine.
 
 “Steven Petrow resolved to do things differently than his parents had when he gets old because he wished they’d been able to enjoy life more. His solution? He created a list! In this book, he shares the secrets to living a full life regardless of our age. It's all about the decisions we make every day. My advice in a nutshell: Read this book and keep it handy.” 
—“Dear Abby” (Jeanne Phillips), nationally syndicated advice columnist
 
“It’s never too early to imagine what your life will look like as you age.  And as I once wrote, ‘We are not hostages to our fate.’ Petrow’s book will help you plan, think, and redefine what it means to get older—and even laugh while doing it.”
—Andrew Weil, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Spontaneous Healing and Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Well-Being
 
“Steven Petrow not only has a great attitude about life, he is wise about how to live it. Like me, he says we should embrace our one life 100% and not let a number—our age—get in the way of anything! Steven’s book will help you rethink the word “aging” and approach this next chapter with a positive and proactive attitude. Plus, this book is fun!” 
—Denise Austin, renowned fitness expert, author, and columnist
 
“Steven’s writing feels like sitting with a friend—one who is unusually gracious, warm and frank.” 
—Carolyn Hax, author of the nationally syndicated advice column, Carolyn Hax


Praise for Steven Petrow:
"Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners helps gays and straights navigate the subtleties of the same-sex world." 
People

"Move over, Emily Post! When it comes to etiquette for members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community--as well as their straight friends, family members and coworkers--author and journalist Steven Petrow is the authority." 
TIME

"What could've easily become a novelty book has emerged as an exhaustively researched, essential resource thanks to advice columnist and etiquette expert Steven Petrow."
The Advocate

"From having kids to planning funerals, Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners has most facets of gay life covered. Ms. Post would approve." 
Entertainment Weekly

"An indispensable refresher course...on what's proper in modern...life." 
Kirkus Reviews

About the Author

Steven Petrow is an award-winning journalist and author best known for his Washington Post and New York Times essays on aging, health, and civility. He’s currently an opinion columnist covering manners and civil discourse for USA Today, and his 2019 TED Talk, “3 Ways to Practice Civility” has been viewed nearly two million times and translated into 16 languages. Formerly the host and executive producer of "The Civilist," a podcast from Public Radio International and North Carolina Public Radio WUNC, Steven regularly appears on television and radio. He's the author of six books, including Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners and Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old. A former president of NLGJA: The Association of LGBTQ Journalists, Steven is the recipient of numerous awards and grants, including those from the National Endowment for the Humanities, the Smithsonian Institution, the Ucross Foundation, the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts, and the National Press Foundation. In 2017, he became the named sponsor of the Steven Petrow LGBTQ Fellowship at the VCCA, a prize that is awarded annually. Steven lives in Hillsborough, N.C. with his cocker spaniel, Binx Bolling. Please visit him online at StevenPetrow.com.

Reviews:

5.0 out of 5 stars Delightful and Insightful

W.W. · June 10, 2025

As an elder, I found myself both schooled and challenged--also amused and inspired. Growing old is a privilege, a gift. This book is an aid to doing so gracefully.

4.0 out of 5 stars A fairly amusing book on things not to do when growing old.

J.J.T. · July 4, 2023

As someone well into my senior years who has been a voracious reader for more than 7 decades, I am always seeking interesting material to read. This is why when I saw this very humorous, entertaining and honest 257 page hardcover book (Stupid things I won’t do when I get old by Steven Petrow with Roseann Foley Henry) on Bolo I decided to purchase it.This book explores the many changes that naturally occur as one grows older. Indeed, I related too many of the stories in this volume. With more than 8 decades behind me but still very active physically and mentally, (though some might disagree with my own personal assessment), I found this book relevant to anyone who thinks they will be young forever, and all of a sudden, they realize they are old.This sometimes amusing book is organized into three parts and some of the topics covered include the following: “I won’t color my hair (even though it worked for Diane Sawyer), I won’t be afraid to fall (yes, you read that right), I won’t limit myself to friends my own age, I won’t lie about my age, I won’t avoid looking at myself in the mirror, I won’t pass up a chance to pee, I won’t stop believing in magic, I won’t stop enjoying myself, I won’t fall to scams, schemes and sleaze balls, I won’t smell like a decrepit old man, I won’t let anyone treat me with disrespect, I won’t let anything stop me from saying I love you,” and many other great pieces of personal advice to the aged.In conclusion, the thing about youth is that one never thinks they are going to be old someday. All of a sudden (at least that is what it seems like) you enter the 60s, 70, s 80s and above and you realize “I can’t believe I got so old.” Yes, it is a blessing in many ways, but in my mind, I will always try to "remain forever young." This fairly humorous and entertaining book may help to guide you into the joys and pitfalls of growing old.Rating: 4 Stars. Joseph J. Truncale (Author: The Samurai Soul: An old warrior’s poetic tribute).

5.0 out of 5 stars Tempted to buy a copy for everyone I know!

D. · January 2, 2025

Written with humor, insight, and self-reflection, I enjoyed reading this so much that I was sad when I reached the end of the book. Rather than a book of to-do lists, the author shares his experience, as his parents aged and passed away, learning along the way how he hopes to respond differently to the process and preparation for aging and dying. This is far from a morbid introspection. I laughed out loud at times and found myself near tears at others. I hope to apply some of what I learned along the way. It is not an exaggeration that I thought of buying a copy for each of my sisters and children! I definitely have recommended it to them. I actually hope to keep my copy handy as a reference as I apply some of the things I learned…I’m looking at you - overflowing closets!

3.0 out of 5 stars Not exactly what we expected.

m. · December 7, 2023

It has some endearing qualities, but overall, not what we expected. The author seems unhappy with his life. It comes through at times in the essays, which is sad.

5.0 out of 5 stars The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

b. · August 7, 2025

Steven Petrow writes about everything I have figured out about aging but, with a clarity and freshness that makes it less scary. This is definitely going onto my Christmas gift list for the people I still have in my life.

4.0 out of 5 stars Stupid Things

D.o.j. · June 14, 2025

I read this book because I'm old. Already old. But I thought maybe there would be some pebbles I could gather to form a grotto for my transitioning. I think I did find a couple aforementioned pebbles and for that I am grateful. It was a worthwhile read. I wish I had known you, Steven, and your father, Professor Petrow. (Probably too many commas in that sentence but I like them there.)

5.0 out of 5 stars book arrived in new condition.The author makes his points with good stories and humor.

s. · October 14, 2024

I suggest to anyone nearing or now in retirement. The author reminds me of what a pain in the @XX you can become to others if you let yourself go in retirement. He does so with gentle humor and personal stories. Fun book to read.

2.0 out of 5 stars Not for everyone

D. · July 7, 2025

Unfortunately not for the general reader. The authors personal lifestyle experiences overwhelm the universalism of the topic. Reading it began well, but at every opportunity the author climbed up on his off-topic soapbox. More of a book-long rant, more appropriate to a podcast or other media.

Rubbish

E.R. · July 9, 2024

Unfunny, narcissistic nonsense.

Will help readers think about topics we’d rather ignore

O. · August 26, 2025

I was attracted to this book by its title (I’ve just crossed the threshold of 60, and I live with and look after my mother, in her mid-eighties), as I thought I would easily identify with many of the topics discussed, and, as tends to be the case, I also realised that I was not the only one to notice some of the behaviours of the older generation and to worry about what I’d become like when I got there.I tried a brief sample of the book and found it funny, and as I’ve been trying to read books on similar topics that might also bring a smile to my face, I thought this was a good book to try.First, I wanted to let possible readers know that if they are followers of the author and have read many of his articles, they might be familiar with some of the content, as the book includes several edited and expanded versions of some articles Petrow has published in the past, so I’d recommend checking the content in detail to avoid disappointment.Second, this volume was not exactly what I expected. Yes, there are chapters that made me nod, smile, and chuckle a bit, but it is not a funny book from cover to cover. In a chapter, there might be experiences or anecdotes that are funny, but also content that is fairly serious and even some pretty emotional and moving. People reading it to take their minds off worries or the concerning aspects of ageing might find that they have bitten more than they can chew.But, third, that does not mean I am disappointed. Although I can’t recall reading anything by Petrow before, so he is not somebody whose life experience I was familiar with before reading this book, I particularly enjoyed his candid reflections about his life, his family, his friends, his circumstances, and the people, advice, and readings that had made an impact on his view of life. I don’t have a lot in common with the author (I love reading and writing, have an elderly parent with her own ideas about things, very different to mine, and have no spouse or children who might be around when my time comes. That is all), but, in spite of that, I connected with many of his concerns, observations, and goals. And some of the chapters made me think in more depth about some issues that have crossed my mind more than once, even if most people don’t want to face them (not only one’s own mortality, but also practical arrangements, like what to do with your stuff, where would you live if you cannot do so with full independence, and what legacy you want to leave behind). I felt that the book started on lighter topics and moved towards more serious and personal ones, and I felt moved by much of what the author shared (especially about his relationship with his parents and friends) towards the end. That is not surprising, as the book is divided into three self-explanatory parts: Stupid Things I Won’t Do Today, Stupid Things I Won’t Do Tomorrow, and Stupid Things I Won’t Do at “The End”.The writing is excellent, and, although some of the details he shares (when talking about specific services available or locations, to name only two) might not be directly comparable to the readers’ own, the concepts and the questions it raises are easy to adapt to each individual’s personal circumstances.To give you an idea of some of what you might find in the book, I include the title of some of the chapters:I Won’t Limit Myself to Friends My Own AgeI Won’t Join the “Organ Recital” (As you might suspect, the author refers to exchanging complaints about physical ailments and shortcomings with friends and acquaintances you meet)I Won’t Become a Miserable Malcontent, a Cranky Curmudgeon, or a Surly SourpussI Won’t Tell My Life Story When Someone Asks, “How Are You?”I Won’t Wait Until I’m Dead to Get a Hearing Aid (or, “What? What Did You Say?”)I Won’t Forget to Plan My Own FuneralThis volume also includes an introduction that explains how the book came to be (why he started keeping a list of things not to do like his parents, and how he later realised what this list was really about), an afterword, a section of acknowledgments, and also a few words by Roseann Foley Henry (who is listed as co-author on the cover and explains what she feels she has contributed to the book).This is a non-fiction book that deals with many topics people of a certain age start thinking about (even if they’d much rather avoid them) and does so sensitively, with touches of light humour and plenty of self-deprecation. It is divided into chapters, although sometimes the content strays off topic, and there is some repetition of ideas and concepts, because many of these subjects are interconnected. The chapters can be read in any order one chooses, although I felt there was a logical progression when read as published, and the collection worked well for me as a single read. I am sure I will come back to revisit some of the chapters and the parts I have highlighted in the future.Recommended to anybody interested in these types of topics and to fans of the writer (with the warning I included earlier).

So true. We grow up to be our parents

D. · October 22, 2024

Humorous, and if you want to know what’s coming as you age.

Okay, Got a Couple of Things From It

M.A. · January 26, 2025

Good writer but found it a little repetitive in places.

insight

J.M. · February 3, 2024

Not a book I would normally choose. That being said, I enjoyed it very much. Makes me think of my parents. They both died much to young, especially my Father. Thank you!

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