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Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

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#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

You deserve to stop suffering because of what other people have done to you.

Have you ever felt stuck in a cycle of unresolved pain, playing offenses over and over in your mind? You know you can't go on like this, but you don't know what to do next. Lysa TerKeurst has wrestled through this journey. But in surprising ways, she’s discovered how to let go of bound-up resentment and overcome the resistance to forgiving people who aren’t willing to make things right.

With deep empathy, therapeutic insight, and rich Bible teaching coming out of more than 1,000 hours of theological study, Lysa will help you:

  • Learn how to move on when the other person refuses to change and never says they're sorry.
  • Walk through a step-by-step process to free yourself from the hurt of your past and feel less offended today.
  • Discover what the Bible really says about forgiveness and the peace that comes from living it out right now.
  • Identify what's stealing trust and vulnerability from your relationships so you can believe there is still good ahead.
  • Disempower the triggers hijacking your emotions by embracing the two necessary parts of forgiveness.

Look for additional biblically based resources and devotionals from Lysa:

  • I Want to Trust You, but I Don't
  • Good Boundaries and Goodbyes
  • It's Not Supposed to Be This Way
  • Uninvited
  • You're Going to Make It
  • Embraced
  • Seeing Beautiful Again

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Lysa TerKeurst is president and chief visionary officer of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the author of seven New York Times bestsellers, including I Want to Trust You, But I Don't, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, Forgiving What You Can't Forget, and It's Not Supposed to Be This Way. She enjoys life with her husband Chaz and her kids and grandkids. Connect with her at www.LysaTerKeurst.com or on social media @LysaTerKeurst.

Review:

4.8 out of 5

95.38% of customers are satisfied

5.0 out of 5 stars In perfect alignment with my healing journey

P. · May 11, 2025

(function() { P.when('cr-A', 'ready').execute(function(A) { if(typeof A.toggleExpanderAriaLabel === 'function') { A.toggleExpanderAriaLabel('review_text_read_more', 'Read more of this review', 'Read less of this review'); } }); })(); .review-text-read-more-expander:focus-visible { outline: 2px solid #2162a1; outline-offset: 2px; border-radius: 5px; } I just finished reading the book, “Forgiving what you can’t forget” by Lysa Terkeurst. This book was meant for me at the perfect time. I cannot express how valuable and aligned this book is with my intent to heal. What I’ve learned I’ll take with me for the rest of my days here.Here are some key takeaways if you’re interested in reading this book.1. Forgiveness is not reconciliationLysa emphasizes that forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to restore a relationship with them. Forgiveness is something you do for your own healing and freedom; not necessarily to fix or forget what happened.2. Processing pain with GodThe book encourages bringing your hurt and anger to God honestly, rather than suppressing it. Lysa shares her personal journey of betrayal and deep emotional pain, showing how she leaned into her faith to work through it.3. Choosing forgiveness dailyForgiveness is described as a process, not a one-time event. Some wounds require you to choose forgiveness over and over again while God works on your heart.4. The cost of unforgivenessHolding onto resentment and anger can keep you stuck in cycles of pain. The book explains how unforgiveness keeps us chained to our hurt, while forgiveness is a path to freedom, peace, and emotional clarity.5. Forgiveness doesn’t excuse the offenseLysa makes it clear that forgiveness does not make wrong things right, nor does it mean you’re minimizing the damage done. It’s a choice to release the hold the pain has over you.If you’re struggling with releasing pain in order to heal or experiencing loss you can’t seem to forget, I highly recommend this book.

5.0 out of 5 stars Remarkably reassuring…

D. · June 2, 2025

Lysa’s book is not just text but a voice, a gentile voice of humility, compassion and real life process in the progress of forgiveness. Forgiveness should be everyday, in every circumstance and reading that enlightened me as a person who has found forgetting difficult when I know I should forgive. I appreciate the explanation of both action words and I feel more compelled to learn to forgive daily and not only when one giant event occurs. I loved learning this and I believe that Jesus was with me during the reading of this book. I can see Him among the pages which allows me to see Lysa and Art, their friends, their lives and their journey in a more compassionate manner. I appreciate this book and thank Lysa for sharing her story and her insight. You enlightened me, and I am thankful for the humble process of finding the beauty in forgiveness.

5.0 out of 5 stars great book to help you understand you or your partners issue.

D.Q. · June 10, 2025

i was a little suspect of it. but it gave me allot of insight into my problems and my wife’s. it really helped. it is all worth the money. i highly recommend if your trying to understand somebody else’s problem or your own.

5.0 out of 5 stars Healing, Honest, and Uplifting

M. · May 21, 2025

This book was exactly what I needed. Lysa writes with so much compassion and truth, it felt like she was speaking directly to me. It helped me process past pain and begin to let go in a healthy, faith-filled way. This isn’t just a book about forgiveness… it’s about reclaiming peace and freedom. Highly recommend for anyone carrying emotional weight they’re ready to release.

5.0 out of 5 stars Great read

B.V. · June 12, 2025

get it read it

4.0 out of 5 stars What Happened?

C.F. · August 9, 2024

The book was such an excellent read that gently hand-held me with grace & simple explanation AT THE BEGINNING AND MIDDLE! I started to feel free, light and hopeful. I was getting answers And I felt like it was going to lead to breakthrough, but then....towards the end.... it felt rushed. I felt kinda condemned even though it wasn't trying to be.The late middle to the end started to have a lot of personal stories; Not that it was bad, but I felt like it was distracting the journey I thought I was on.It had also described this wonderful person we get to meet and new discovery and freedom we will feelI thought the book would have touched on that some more. I was feeling very hopeful thinking about a healthier me but then the book started to feel negative as if the pain is something that won't be gone and hpHow it's necessary to sit in grief. Encouraging pain. It just overall started to feel negative for me and the hopeful feelings I had suddenly went away because of that being reemphasized. That's why I took off a star.I realized later that we need God to heal us and we can't do it ourselves, I tried processing alone and I couldn't do it. It started a spiral unless I was doing it wrong.Also at first, it explained that reconciliation wasn't necessary, but then towards the end, it seemed like it was being encouraged. It seem like the end had less grace and personality.I was also not clear about how to get rid of bitterness. The end was not very guiding and on the readers' level like the beginning.I also thought there would have been a little bit more practical journal prompts to help us Or she would have suggested the index card exercise for us.Pretty much, it was a very disappointing ending for me. I was thinking about buying two more copies for my friends, but I am left feeling negative right now and I no longer want to.That same grace and permission to have freedom in the beginning would have helped if it had continued but it turned negative to me.To summarize, this was had a very highly excellent beginning and middle! Lifechanging answers! Good book. Couldnt put it down. The author was present with the reader like it was a conversationI love that style of writing! It was amazing, but later on, what happened ?

5.0 out of 5 stars Never disappoints

c. · May 26, 2025

Lisa,is an amazing writer - her use of language paired with her beautiful heart is a rare blend I hope she continues to share her journey with us all!

5.0 out of 5 stars Forgiving what you can’t forget

E.A.F. · June 12, 2025

Very good book

Amazing book! This book has changed my life :')

L.R. · January 14, 2025

(function() { P.when('cr-A', 'ready').execute(function(A) { if(typeof A.toggleExpanderAriaLabel === 'function') { A.toggleExpanderAriaLabel('review_text_read_more', 'Read more of this review', 'Read less of this review'); } }); })(); .review-text-read-more-expander:focus-visible { outline: 2px solid #2162a1; outline-offset: 2px; border-radius: 5px; } This book is brilliant. Lysa writes almost from such a direct and personal point of view and beautifully brings in faith and religion in such a gentle way and as a reminder to teach you how to forgive. She teaches that forgiveness is very much a process AND an action and something we have to practice. She very much validate the pain you've been through. I've never connected to a book so much like this, and I'm now gonna be buying all her books. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. Even if you're not a religious person - please trust this book. You'll be in with it straight away

Tropi riferimenti religiosi

M.O. · August 9, 2024

I concetti nel libro sono sicuramente validi ma sono troppo spesso supportati da riferimenti religiosi. La scrittrice utilizza esperienze personali per affrontare gli argomenti trattati. Mentre capisco che la religione si una elemento importante per la scrittrice non vedo la necessità di validare tutti gli argomenti attraverso riferimenti a Gesu e alla Bibbia. I concetti possono essere validi anche senza di essi.

A very interesting read if you struggle

K. · November 20, 2024

The book helped me immensely, I’m not very spiritual so I tended to overlook some parts, like I said very interesting if you struggle

Quite inspiring

N. · May 6, 2025

I am halfway through but already on the first pages and throughout the book I found so many inspiring statement and sections.Just going through an unexpected break up moving towards co-parenting I find it crucial to not fill myself up with anger, frustration and all those negative feelings. What Lysa is writing is so relatable and really helps me through, accepting and acknowledging the situation, the grief but not to add more pain.

Good read

E.Y. · December 19, 2024

I have not finished yet but I like it, knowing that we can learn something from it.

Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

4.7

AED11743

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