Description:
Following the tremendous success of her New York Times bestsellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and How Could You Do That?!, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses the stupid things men do that diminish their lives and happiness.
With real-world examples from her radio show and strikingly honest letters from her male listeners, her book reveals that many men demonstrate a level of sensitivity and insight that will surprise most women. Dr. Laura provides commonsense guidelines to show men how to appreciate their own nature and needs. Humorous and wise, she urges men to:
-Stop trying to save or transform needy women
-Recognize and enjoy the need for intimacy
-Avoid blind ambition, which focuses on externals
-Realize their need for control
-Stop measuring their masculinity with sex
-Marry for all the right reasons
-Resolve emotional issues with their mothers
-Take pleasure in raising their children
-Understand the difference between being male and a man
-Be a loving mate
Men and the women who love them will be enriched by the compassion and wisdom of Dr. Laura's spirited perspective. Her growing audience will never look at their relationships, behaviors, and decisions the same way after listening to Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives.
From the Back Cover
Internationally syndicated radio superhost and columnist, controversial psycho-therapist, and author of the break-out New York Times bestsellers How Could You Do That?! and Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura Schlessinger is back with Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives.
In ten vital, compelling chapters, Dr. Laura speaks her mind on:
- Stupid Chivalry
By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her.- Stupid Independence
Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex.- Stupid Ambition
Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power, and status.- Stupid Strength
Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-aggressiveness to regain control.- Stupid Sex
Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign," you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms.- Stupid Matrimony
Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to "fix it."- Stupid Husbanding
Thinking that marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you were single and your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything else.- Stupid Parenting
Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true "soul food" of a child's hug.- Stupid Boyishness
Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy.- Stupid Machismo
Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.
- Stupid Machismo
- Stupid Boyishness
- Stupid Parenting
- Stupid Husbanding
- Stupid Matrimony
- Stupid Sex
- Stupid Strength
- Stupid Ambition
- Stupid Independence
About the Author
One of the most popular hosts in radio history—with millions of listeners weekly—Dr. Laura Schlessinger has been offering no-nonsense advice infused with a strong sense of personal responsibility for more than 40 years. Her internationally syndicated radio program is now on SiriusXM Triumph Channel 111, and is streamed on the Internet and podcast.
She's a best-selling author of eighteen books, which range from the provocative (New York Times chart topper The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands) to the poignant (children's book Why Do You Love Me?). She's on Instagram and Facebook (with over 1.7 million followers), and her Call of the Day podcast has exceeded one hundred million downloads. She has raised millions for veterans and their families with her boutique, DrLauraDesigns.com, which benefits the Children of Fallen Patriots Foundation.
Dr. Laura holds a Ph.D. in physiology from Columbia University's College of Physicians and Surgeons, and received her post-doctoral certification in Marriage, Family, and Child Counseling from the University of Southern California. She was in private practice for 12 years. She has been inducted into the National Radio Hall of Fame, received an award from the Office of the Secretary of Defense for her Exceptional Public Service, and was the first woman ever to win the National Association of Broadcasters' prestigious Marconi Award for Network/Syndicated Personality.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
By Schlessinger, Laura C.Quill
Copyright © 2004 Dr. Laura SchlessingerAll right reserved.
ISBN: 0060929448
Stupid Chivalry
Men pride themselves on being handy.
So--we go out to find broken women so we can fix them.
Trouble is we're not equipped to fix anything beyond a leaky faucet.
David, 1996
During Saturday morning services at my synagogue, an engaged couple intheir early thirties came up to the bima (pulpit) to receive the rabbi'sblessing. The day before their wedding, it was a lovely and touching momentas they entered into a new level of relationship to each other and to thecommunity. On such a joyous occasion, the congregation customarily respondswith song, clapping, and the throwing of candies, representing the sweetnessof everyone's joy and the hope for sweetness in the happy, but embarrassedcouple's future. Well, somebody didn't buy target-friendly candies, becauseeven the rabbi cringed with pain as those hard projectiles thrown with suchenthusiasm pelted him. Without suggestion or request, seemingly by instinct,the prospective groom moved in front of his bride-to-be and shielded herbody with his; his back taking the brunt of the hits. When the folks ranout of candy, he moved back to his place beside her and she kissed his cheek,possibly just with joy, but probably also as reward for his thoughtful gallantry.
The rabbi joked good-naturedly about the incident and the man's chivalry,but I was deeply struck by the clarity of that moment: the male's protectionof the female is an important part of the biological (and psychological)dynamic between men and women.
The Biology of Chivalry
In the Weekly Standard, Chandler Burr describes an illuminating encounterDr. Laurence Frank, a zoologist at Berkeley, had with a coed after presentinga lecture on animal endocrinology and the way hormones determine malenessand femaleness: "And a young woman came up afterwards and she was shocked,shocked, that I would say such a thing. In her view, 'maleness' is justmacho posturing 'socially constructed' by society, 'femaleness' a myth createdby the Neanderthal patriarchy.' But to biologists, gender is as real asoxygen." And maybe so is chivalry.
Chivalry is the combination of qualities expected of a medieval knight,including courage, generosity, and courtesy. More gender-role specifically,it is the male's obligation to be considerate, courteous, and gallant towardthe female, protecting her sensibilities, honor, and person. While biologistsdon't see much noninstinctive behavior in nonhuman animals which they canlabel as noble or altruistic, they do see a pattern of male aggression ensuringprotection of turf, nest, mate, family, and group--a biological divisionof labor with the females protecting and nurturing their young.
I was originally trained as a biologist, and I am convinced that the animalpart of our nature is the engine of our drives; our ability to reason, toembrace morality, to go beyond the biological imprint navigates the directionof those drives--which is why we can go so haywire! Being "animal"is easy, being an "ascendant human" requires manual override ofsome of our more animal (food consumption, random mating) as well as ourless worthy human attributes (laziness, self-centeredness, etc.). None ofthis is foolproof or easy; nor can we ignore the potential support or subversionof our important biological selves by societal pressures.
In each era we human beings experiment with gender role behaviors and expectations,and end up discovering more of our unique potential as humans. In doingso, we may sacrifice what is also essential to our well-being and abilityto relate as male and female. While both genders have new and incredibleopportunities for intellectual and mechanical expression, the way they relateto each other, and want to relate, doesn't seem to change at all! So itseems clear that the expectations, hopes, desires, and needs men and womenfundamentally have for each other haven't changed in spite of all the socialengineering. I think even Ms. magazine has admitted that.
When Chivalry's Just Plain Stupid
I'm convinced it is built into the male to be protective, to be chivalrous.What I worry about is the blind Stupid Chivalry which is messing up yourlives. According to Selden (a listener), such blind and stupid chivalrywould be indicated by the following:
* When a woman wants you to "give her a life," you try to do it.
* Try to get a woman to change.
* Stay in a lousy relationship out of a sense of pity (you don't want tohurt her feelings) or obligation (you started this thing, you guess youhave to finish it).
Now this is a great start, but there is one central idea you men seem tobe blind to: You buy the idea that a woman's situation in life, shaggy dogstory of terrible experiences, failures, or problems are accidents of fate,or bad luck, or incredible circumstances out of her control, or actionsof people or persons other than herself--meaning of course she could donothing other than what she's done considering what's happened to her. I'llgive you that traffic accidents, disease, childhood abuse, or adult assaultssadly happen. Yet, instead of observing how she handles these realitiesto learn about her strength, personality, and character, you determine tostep in and heroically take over that responsibility for her.
Worse still, you assume that if she's in distress, there must be a dragonto slay. Dragons are monsters outside the person. You need to look to see(1) how heavy a contributor and supporter she is to her own misery, and(2) how hard she works to survive and make things better. Of course, youwon't pay attention to these issues if you're off and running after thedragon!
And it's not as if you guys are totally blind to what's going on.
Continues...
Excerpted from Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Livesby Schlessinger, Laura C. Copyright © 2004 by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Details:
Visit the Harper Perennial Store
Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives: Talk radio's Dr. Laura exposes men's blind spots on ambition, control, sex, marriage, and fatherhood―with candid, commonsense wisdom.
AED7963
Quantity:
Order today to get by 7-14 business days
Delivery fee of AED 20. Free for orders above AED 200.
Imported From: United States
At BOLO, we work hard to ensure the products you receive are new, genuine, and sourced from reputable suppliers.
Every product in the BOLO catalogue is sourced through our Verified Global Supply Network of verified sellers, authorized distributors or directly from the manufacturer.
Each product undergoes thorough inspection and verification at our consolidation and fulfilment centers to ensure it meets our strict authenticity and quality standards before being shipped and delivered to you.
If you ever have concerns regarding the authenticity of a product purchased from us, please contact Bolo Support. We will review your inquiry promptly and, if necessary, provide documentation verifying authenticity or offer a suitable resolution.
Your trust is our top priority, and we are committed to maintaining transparency and integrity in every transaction.
While we strive to display accurate information, variations in packaging, labeling, instructions, or formulation may occasionally occur due to regional differences or supplier updates. For detailed or manufacturer-specific information, please contact the brand directly or reach out to BOLO Support for assistance.
Unless otherwise stated, all prices displayed on the product page include applicable taxes and import duties.
BOLO operates in accordance with the laws and regulations of United Arab Emirates. Any items found to be restricted or prohibited for sale within the United Arab Emirates will be cancelled prior to shipment. We take proactive measures to ensure that only products permitted for sale in United Arab Emirates are listed on our website.
All items are shipped by air, and any products classified as “Dangerous Goods (DG)” under IATA regulations will be removed from the order and cancelled.
All orders are processed manually, and we make every effort to process them promptly once confirmed. Products cancelled due to the above reasons will be permanently removed from listings across the website.
More from this brand
Similar items from “Interpersonal Relations”
Share with
Or share with link
https://www.bolo.ae/products/U0060929448
Visit the Harper Perennial Store
Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives: Talk radio's Dr. Laura exposes men's blind spots on ambition, control, sex, marriage, and fatherhood―with candid, commonsense wisdom.
AED7963
Quantity:
Order today to get by 7-14 business days
Delivery fee of AED 20. Free for orders above AED 200.
Imported From: United States
At BOLO, we work hard to ensure the products you receive are new, genuine, and sourced from reputable suppliers.
Every product in the BOLO catalogue is sourced through our Verified Global Supply Network of verified sellers, authorized distributors or directly from the manufacturer.
Each product undergoes thorough inspection and verification at our consolidation and fulfilment centers to ensure it meets our strict authenticity and quality standards before being shipped and delivered to you.
If you ever have concerns regarding the authenticity of a product purchased from us, please contact Bolo Support. We will review your inquiry promptly and, if necessary, provide documentation verifying authenticity or offer a suitable resolution.
Your trust is our top priority, and we are committed to maintaining transparency and integrity in every transaction.
While we strive to display accurate information, variations in packaging, labeling, instructions, or formulation may occasionally occur due to regional differences or supplier updates. For detailed or manufacturer-specific information, please contact the brand directly or reach out to BOLO Support for assistance.
Unless otherwise stated, all prices displayed on the product page include applicable taxes and import duties.
BOLO operates in accordance with the laws and regulations of United Arab Emirates. Any items found to be restricted or prohibited for sale within the United Arab Emirates will be cancelled prior to shipment. We take proactive measures to ensure that only products permitted for sale in United Arab Emirates are listed on our website.
All items are shipped by air, and any products classified as “Dangerous Goods (DG)” under IATA regulations will be removed from the order and cancelled.
All orders are processed manually, and we make every effort to process them promptly once confirmed. Products cancelled due to the above reasons will be permanently removed from listings across the website.
Description:
Following the tremendous success of her New York Times bestsellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and How Could You Do That?!, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses the stupid things men do that diminish their lives and happiness.
With real-world examples from her radio show and strikingly honest letters from her male listeners, her book reveals that many men demonstrate a level of sensitivity and insight that will surprise most women. Dr. Laura provides commonsense guidelines to show men how to appreciate their own nature and needs. Humorous and wise, she urges men to:
-Stop trying to save or transform needy women
-Recognize and enjoy the need for intimacy
-Avoid blind ambition, which focuses on externals
-Realize their need for control
-Stop measuring their masculinity with sex
-Marry for all the right reasons
-Resolve emotional issues with their mothers
-Take pleasure in raising their children
-Understand the difference between being male and a man
-Be a loving mate
Men and the women who love them will be enriched by the compassion and wisdom of Dr. Laura's spirited perspective. Her growing audience will never look at their relationships, behaviors, and decisions the same way after listening to Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives.
From the Back Cover
Internationally syndicated radio superhost and columnist, controversial psycho-therapist, and author of the break-out New York Times bestsellers How Could You Do That?! and Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura Schlessinger is back with Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives.
In ten vital, compelling chapters, Dr. Laura speaks her mind on:
- Stupid Chivalry
By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her.- Stupid Independence
Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex.- Stupid Ambition
Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power, and status.- Stupid Strength
Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-aggressiveness to regain control.- Stupid Sex
Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign," you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms.- Stupid Matrimony
Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to "fix it."- Stupid Husbanding
Thinking that marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you were single and your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything else.- Stupid Parenting
Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true "soul food" of a child's hug.- Stupid Boyishness
Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy.- Stupid Machismo
Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.
- Stupid Machismo
- Stupid Boyishness
- Stupid Parenting
- Stupid Husbanding
- Stupid Matrimony
- Stupid Sex
- Stupid Strength
- Stupid Ambition
- Stupid Independence
About the Author
One of the most popular hosts in radio history—with millions of listeners weekly—Dr. Laura Schlessinger has been offering no-nonsense advice infused with a strong sense of personal responsibility for more than 40 years. Her internationally syndicated radio program is now on SiriusXM Triumph Channel 111, and is streamed on the Internet and podcast.
She's a best-selling author of eighteen books, which range from the provocative (New York Times chart topper The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands) to the poignant (children's book Why Do You Love Me?). She's on Instagram and Facebook (with over 1.7 million followers), and her Call of the Day podcast has exceeded one hundred million downloads. She has raised millions for veterans and their families with her boutique, DrLauraDesigns.com, which benefits the Children of Fallen Patriots Foundation.
Dr. Laura holds a Ph.D. in physiology from Columbia University's College of Physicians and Surgeons, and received her post-doctoral certification in Marriage, Family, and Child Counseling from the University of Southern California. She was in private practice for 12 years. She has been inducted into the National Radio Hall of Fame, received an award from the Office of the Secretary of Defense for her Exceptional Public Service, and was the first woman ever to win the National Association of Broadcasters' prestigious Marconi Award for Network/Syndicated Personality.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
By Schlessinger, Laura C.Quill
Copyright © 2004 Dr. Laura SchlessingerAll right reserved.
ISBN: 0060929448
Stupid Chivalry
Men pride themselves on being handy.
So--we go out to find broken women so we can fix them.
Trouble is we're not equipped to fix anything beyond a leaky faucet.
David, 1996
During Saturday morning services at my synagogue, an engaged couple intheir early thirties came up to the bima (pulpit) to receive the rabbi'sblessing. The day before their wedding, it was a lovely and touching momentas they entered into a new level of relationship to each other and to thecommunity. On such a joyous occasion, the congregation customarily respondswith song, clapping, and the throwing of candies, representing the sweetnessof everyone's joy and the hope for sweetness in the happy, but embarrassedcouple's future. Well, somebody didn't buy target-friendly candies, becauseeven the rabbi cringed with pain as those hard projectiles thrown with suchenthusiasm pelted him. Without suggestion or request, seemingly by instinct,the prospective groom moved in front of his bride-to-be and shielded herbody with his; his back taking the brunt of the hits. When the folks ranout of candy, he moved back to his place beside her and she kissed his cheek,possibly just with joy, but probably also as reward for his thoughtful gallantry.
The rabbi joked good-naturedly about the incident and the man's chivalry,but I was deeply struck by the clarity of that moment: the male's protectionof the female is an important part of the biological (and psychological)dynamic between men and women.
The Biology of Chivalry
In the Weekly Standard, Chandler Burr describes an illuminating encounterDr. Laurence Frank, a zoologist at Berkeley, had with a coed after presentinga lecture on animal endocrinology and the way hormones determine malenessand femaleness: "And a young woman came up afterwards and she was shocked,shocked, that I would say such a thing. In her view, 'maleness' is justmacho posturing 'socially constructed' by society, 'femaleness' a myth createdby the Neanderthal patriarchy.' But to biologists, gender is as real asoxygen." And maybe so is chivalry.
Chivalry is the combination of qualities expected of a medieval knight,including courage, generosity, and courtesy. More gender-role specifically,it is the male's obligation to be considerate, courteous, and gallant towardthe female, protecting her sensibilities, honor, and person. While biologistsdon't see much noninstinctive behavior in nonhuman animals which they canlabel as noble or altruistic, they do see a pattern of male aggression ensuringprotection of turf, nest, mate, family, and group--a biological divisionof labor with the females protecting and nurturing their young.
I was originally trained as a biologist, and I am convinced that the animalpart of our nature is the engine of our drives; our ability to reason, toembrace morality, to go beyond the biological imprint navigates the directionof those drives--which is why we can go so haywire! Being "animal"is easy, being an "ascendant human" requires manual override ofsome of our more animal (food consumption, random mating) as well as ourless worthy human attributes (laziness, self-centeredness, etc.). None ofthis is foolproof or easy; nor can we ignore the potential support or subversionof our important biological selves by societal pressures.
In each era we human beings experiment with gender role behaviors and expectations,and end up discovering more of our unique potential as humans. In doingso, we may sacrifice what is also essential to our well-being and abilityto relate as male and female. While both genders have new and incredibleopportunities for intellectual and mechanical expression, the way they relateto each other, and want to relate, doesn't seem to change at all! So itseems clear that the expectations, hopes, desires, and needs men and womenfundamentally have for each other haven't changed in spite of all the socialengineering. I think even Ms. magazine has admitted that.
When Chivalry's Just Plain Stupid
I'm convinced it is built into the male to be protective, to be chivalrous.What I worry about is the blind Stupid Chivalry which is messing up yourlives. According to Selden (a listener), such blind and stupid chivalrywould be indicated by the following:
* When a woman wants you to "give her a life," you try to do it.
* Try to get a woman to change.
* Stay in a lousy relationship out of a sense of pity (you don't want tohurt her feelings) or obligation (you started this thing, you guess youhave to finish it).
Now this is a great start, but there is one central idea you men seem tobe blind to: You buy the idea that a woman's situation in life, shaggy dogstory of terrible experiences, failures, or problems are accidents of fate,or bad luck, or incredible circumstances out of her control, or actionsof people or persons other than herself--meaning of course she could donothing other than what she's done considering what's happened to her. I'llgive you that traffic accidents, disease, childhood abuse, or adult assaultssadly happen. Yet, instead of observing how she handles these realitiesto learn about her strength, personality, and character, you determine tostep in and heroically take over that responsibility for her.
Worse still, you assume that if she's in distress, there must be a dragonto slay. Dragons are monsters outside the person. You need to look to see(1) how heavy a contributor and supporter she is to her own misery, and(2) how hard she works to survive and make things better. Of course, youwon't pay attention to these issues if you're off and running after thedragon!
And it's not as if you guys are totally blind to what's going on.
Continues...
Excerpted from Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Livesby Schlessinger, Laura C. Copyright © 2004 by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Details:
More from this brand
Similar items from “Interpersonal Relations”
Share with
Or share with link
https://www.bolo.ae/products/U0060929448