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The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss

Description:

NPR SciFri Book Club Pick

Next Big Idea Club's "Top 21 Psychology Books of 2022"

Behavioral Scientist Notable Books of 2022

A renowned grief expert and neuroscientist shares groundbreaking discoveries about what happens in our brain when we grieve, providing a new paradigm for understanding love, loss, and learning.

In The Grieving Brain, neuroscientist and psychologist Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD, gives us a fascinating new window into one of the hallmark experiences of being human. O’Connor has devoted decades to researching the effects of grief on the brain, and in this book, she makes cutting-edge neuroscience accessible through her contagious enthusiasm, and guides us through how we encode love and grief. With love, our neurons help us form attachments to others; but, with loss, our brain must come to terms with where our loved ones went, or how to imagine a future without them. 

The Grieving Brain addresses:

  • Why it’s so hard to understand that a loved one has died and is gone forever
  • Why grief causes so many emotions—sadness, anger, blame, guilt, and yearning
  • Why grieving takes so long
  • The distinction between grief and prolonged grief
  • Why we ruminate so much after we lose a loved one
  • How we go about restoring a meaningful life while grieving

Based on O’Connor’s own trailblazing neuroimaging work, research in the field, and her real-life stories, The Grieving Brain combines storytelling, accessible science, and practical knowledge that will help us better understand what happens when we grieve and how to navigate loss with more ease and grace. 


Review

"For those who want to understand what’s happening to them and why grief is so confounding, this is a fascinating and comforting read.”  — Oprah Daily

“[A]n insightful book…fascinating look at what goes on inside our minds when we lose someone special.”
Wake-Up Call, Katie Couric Media

“This book has helped so many who are grasping to make sense of loss, and I recommend it now, hoping that it will offer insights, solace, or even answers.”
Amanda Stern, How to Live (blog)

The Grieving Brain is a probing exploration into the science of grief and grieving. We are given an opportunity to view loss in a new way. If you have felt the pain of a loss and wondered if it will ever get better, O'Connor shows how the brain can help heal.” — Sharon Salzberg, author of Real Change

“A pioneer of the neuroscience of grief, O'Connor lays out in simple prose how we try to make sense of the impossible conundrum of loss. Anyone who's been through a loss or just wants to know how bereavement works, this is the book for you.” — George Bonanno, author of The End of Trauma

"We will all be touched by loss. To understand grief is to understand a fundamental human experience. This book is a powerful and comprehensive exploration of grief, the best I have read.”  — Roshi Joan Halifax, PhD, pioneer in the end-of-life care field and author of Standing at the Edge and Being with Dying

“Absorbing and wise, The Grieving Brain offers insights and coping mechanisms for those of us who have peered up from the depths of grief and wondered, why does this hurt so much? How can I make a meaningful life for myself now?”  — Maryanne O’Hara, author of Little Matches

"The Grieving Brain answered fascinating questions that I would not have thought to ask. State-of-science studies, fun facts and fascinating insights kept me turning pages and losing track of time."  — Ira Byock, MD, active emeritus professor, Dartmouth Geisel School of Medicine, author of Dying Well and The Best Care Possible

“[C]lear, confirming, compassionate, beautifully readable …”

Mad In America

About the Author

Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD, is a professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab, investigating the effects of grief on the brain and the body. Her book The Grieving Brain was included on Oprah’s list of Best Books to Comfort a Grieving Friend. O’Connor holds a PhD in clinical psychology from the University of Arizona and completed a post-doctoral fellowship in psychoneuroimmunology at the UCLA Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior. Having grown up in Montana, she now lives in Tucson, Arizona.

Reviews:

5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting and informative

J. · 8 October 2025

A really helpful read to anyone who is grieving or who works with those who are grieving. The science is interesting and the psychological interpretations really strike home.

5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant book!

K.B. · 20 March 2025

Brilliant book... very accessible and gives the science behind what's happening in your brain when you grieve. I found it extraordinarily helpful.

5.0 out of 5 stars Well worth reading

M. · 25 January 2024

This is thoroughly recommended for anyone suffering bereavement or close to someone suffering - I belief it will help.Heart wrenching in places but very useful in understanding the process the brain goes through.

5.0 out of 5 stars A brilliant read

A. · 19 July 2024

A fantastic read which is proving to be so helpful in the grief journey of my clients

5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended

l. · 11 November 2022

Mary-Frances O'Connor. is one of the pioneers of the study of the neurology of grief through mapping the grieving brain using functional MRI scans. She has published many scientific papers, but this book is for people who are grieving , and are perhaps confused by their feelings, thoughts and actions. Only a truly great scientist who really understands their subject, could write with such clarity for a general audience. Her explanations for our grief and grieving are both surprising and reassuring.Mary-Frances writes openly and honestly about her own grief and depression, and about her personal relationships. Yet it's not egocentric, it reaches out to others with passion and humour, set in the context of how our grieving brains work. Her enthusiasm for teaching others shines out of the pages - the teacher we all wished we'd had. As someone who also teaches about grief and writes books, this is much appreciated.

5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful

M.P. · 4 April 2022

I have not finished reading this yet, but for me it is being very helpful for me to understand how my brain is working now, after losing my partner whom I loved very deeply all the years she was with me. It contains detailed reasons why I feel as I do and helps me to understand my feeling,and how to react to them.

5.0 out of 5 stars A must for anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one

L.M. · 3 August 2024

Learned a lot from this book. You can also find her videos on You Tube.

1.0 out of 5 stars Ethically dubious experimentation on primates informs this book in places

I. · 21 July 2025

From a personal ethical perspective I could not continue to read this book once it became clear that, although not explicitly stated, one easily infers that it incorporates conclusions derived from primate vivisection.

I was sad when I reached the end...it's that good

A.H. · 24 April 2023

OK, where to start?I lost my wife of 34 years suddenly and unexpectedly almost a year ago. We had a healthy and happy life, and her loss was devastating. Though I was able to be functional enough to take care of my needs, many days seemed to be little more than enduring until the next day. Early on, I read a great book titled, "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye" by Noel and Blair, which helped me. That book was designed to help people who are grieving in the aftermath of the sudden loss of a loved one.A few months ago, I heard about this book, and enthusiastically ordered a copy. It is NOT a self-help book, or guide to grieving or anything like that. This book is different. It's written by one of the leading researchers in the field of clinical psychology and neurobiology, and focuses on what we now know about how the brain changes as we develop a relationship, and how the brain reacts when that relationship is lost.Maybe it's because I am a scientist, but the way O'Connor lays out what we know, how we know it, and what it means was like light after light going on for me as I continued the process of grieving and recovering from the effects of the loss of my wife.While the entire book was interesting and enlightening, I found direct connections between what she writes about and what I have been experiencing, and this book helped me put my experiences into context - a great help, you might even say a great blessing.One thing that surprisingly helped me more than I could have imagined was a 4-page section about insomnia, why it happens, what happens when that happens, and what to do about it. That took away all kinds of stress as I prepared for bed each night. While I may now wake up from time to time more than before my wife passed away, I now sleep much better than I did before reading this book.I can't say enough good about this book, and what it's helped me understand about what my brain is going through in it's best efforts to keep up with what happened and what is happening.I'm now half-way through my second read of this book.5 stars

Sehr hilfreich!

T. · 31 March 2025

Tolles Buch, ich habe viele neue Erkenntnisse bekommen! Obwohl es noch nicht auf Deutsch vorliegt, war es einfach zu verstehen. Klar formuliert, gut strukturiert, kein überkandiedeltes englisches Vokabular.

Amazing book

K.P. · 24 September 2025

Great resource for understanding the why behind behaviour and helps to understand on a practical level. Great resource when working with others with grief. Highly recomend adding this to your grief resources.

Great read

J. · 25 June 2024

A really factual look into how the brain processes grief. I found it really helpful in understanding the “why” behind the emotion. Thanks for sharing this with the world.

Incredibly Validating; Finally, a Scientific Explanation for What I am Feeling

J.G. · 3 February 2022

I pre-ordered this book a few months ago on a whim, and I am so glad that I did. I has been 4 years since I lost my father, and I have been on a journey to better understand my grief and all of the emotions associated since that day. There has been a disconnect in my life that I couldn't explain to my spouse, my therapist...anyone who would listen....a disconnect that at times made me feel "crazy". This book has validated so many previously unexplained feelings - and has finally given me the tools (and words) to better communicate, not only with others who are grieving, but to people like my spouse who have never experienced such profound loss. This book is certainly a turning point for me in this grief journey - and has given me the validation and confidence I need to continue moving forward.A scientific explanation, written in such a thoughtful, meaningful way that the lay person can understand and relate to. Thankful for Dr. O'Connor and this work. Highly recommend.

The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss

Product ID: K0062946242
Condition: New

4.6

AED11338

Price includes VAT & Import Duties
Type: Paperback
Availability: In Stock

Quantity:

|

Order today to get by 7-14 business days

Delivery fee of AED 20. Free for orders above AED 200.

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The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss

Product ID: K0062946242
Condition: New

4.6

The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss-0
Type: Paperback

AED11338

Price includes VAT & Import Duties
Availability: In Stock

Quantity:

|

Order today to get by 7-14 business days

Delivery fee of AED 20. Free for orders above AED 200.

Returns & Warranty policies

Imported From: United Kingdom

At BOLO, we work hard to ensure the products you receive are new, genuine, and sourced from reputable suppliers.

BOLO is not an authorized or official retailer for most brands, nor are we affiliated with manufacturers unless specifically stated on a product page. Instead, we source verified sellers, authorized distributors or directly from the manufacturer.

Each product undergoes thorough inspection and verification at our consolidation and fulfilment centers to ensure it meets our strict authenticity and quality standards before being shipped and delivered to you.

If you ever have concerns regarding the authenticity of a product purchased from us, please contact Bolo Support. We will review your inquiry promptly and, if necessary, provide documentation verifying authenticity or offer a suitable resolution.

Your trust is our top priority, and we are committed to maintaining transparency and integrity in every transaction.

All product information, images, descriptions, and reviews originate from the manufacturer or from trusted sellers overseas. BOLO is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or an authorized retailer for most brands listed on our website unless stated otherwise.

While we strive to display accurate information, variations in packaging, labeling, instructions, or formulation may occasionally occur due to regional differences or supplier updates. For detailed or manufacturer-specific information, please contact the brand directly or reach out to BOLO Support for assistance.

Unless otherwise stated, all prices displayed on the product page include applicable taxes and import duties.

BOLO operates in accordance with the laws and regulations of United Arab Emirates. Any items found to be restricted or prohibited for sale within the UAE will be cancelled prior to shipment. We take proactive measures to ensure that only products permitted for sale in United Arab Emirates are listed on our website.

All items are shipped by air, and any products classified as “Dangerous Goods (DG)” under IATA regulations will be removed from the order and cancelled.

All orders are processed manually, and we make every effort to process them promptly once confirmed. Products cancelled due to the above reasons will be permanently removed from listings across the website.

Description:

NPR SciFri Book Club Pick

Next Big Idea Club's "Top 21 Psychology Books of 2022"

Behavioral Scientist Notable Books of 2022

A renowned grief expert and neuroscientist shares groundbreaking discoveries about what happens in our brain when we grieve, providing a new paradigm for understanding love, loss, and learning.

In The Grieving Brain, neuroscientist and psychologist Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD, gives us a fascinating new window into one of the hallmark experiences of being human. O’Connor has devoted decades to researching the effects of grief on the brain, and in this book, she makes cutting-edge neuroscience accessible through her contagious enthusiasm, and guides us through how we encode love and grief. With love, our neurons help us form attachments to others; but, with loss, our brain must come to terms with where our loved ones went, or how to imagine a future without them. 

The Grieving Brain addresses:

  • Why it’s so hard to understand that a loved one has died and is gone forever
  • Why grief causes so many emotions—sadness, anger, blame, guilt, and yearning
  • Why grieving takes so long
  • The distinction between grief and prolonged grief
  • Why we ruminate so much after we lose a loved one
  • How we go about restoring a meaningful life while grieving

Based on O’Connor’s own trailblazing neuroimaging work, research in the field, and her real-life stories, The Grieving Brain combines storytelling, accessible science, and practical knowledge that will help us better understand what happens when we grieve and how to navigate loss with more ease and grace. 


Review

"For those who want to understand what’s happening to them and why grief is so confounding, this is a fascinating and comforting read.”  — Oprah Daily

“[A]n insightful book…fascinating look at what goes on inside our minds when we lose someone special.”
Wake-Up Call, Katie Couric Media

“This book has helped so many who are grasping to make sense of loss, and I recommend it now, hoping that it will offer insights, solace, or even answers.”
Amanda Stern, How to Live (blog)

The Grieving Brain is a probing exploration into the science of grief and grieving. We are given an opportunity to view loss in a new way. If you have felt the pain of a loss and wondered if it will ever get better, O'Connor shows how the brain can help heal.” — Sharon Salzberg, author of Real Change

“A pioneer of the neuroscience of grief, O'Connor lays out in simple prose how we try to make sense of the impossible conundrum of loss. Anyone who's been through a loss or just wants to know how bereavement works, this is the book for you.” — George Bonanno, author of The End of Trauma

"We will all be touched by loss. To understand grief is to understand a fundamental human experience. This book is a powerful and comprehensive exploration of grief, the best I have read.”  — Roshi Joan Halifax, PhD, pioneer in the end-of-life care field and author of Standing at the Edge and Being with Dying

“Absorbing and wise, The Grieving Brain offers insights and coping mechanisms for those of us who have peered up from the depths of grief and wondered, why does this hurt so much? How can I make a meaningful life for myself now?”  — Maryanne O’Hara, author of Little Matches

"The Grieving Brain answered fascinating questions that I would not have thought to ask. State-of-science studies, fun facts and fascinating insights kept me turning pages and losing track of time."  — Ira Byock, MD, active emeritus professor, Dartmouth Geisel School of Medicine, author of Dying Well and The Best Care Possible

“[C]lear, confirming, compassionate, beautifully readable …”

Mad In America

About the Author

Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD, is a professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab, investigating the effects of grief on the brain and the body. Her book The Grieving Brain was included on Oprah’s list of Best Books to Comfort a Grieving Friend. O’Connor holds a PhD in clinical psychology from the University of Arizona and completed a post-doctoral fellowship in psychoneuroimmunology at the UCLA Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior. Having grown up in Montana, she now lives in Tucson, Arizona.

Reviews:

5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting and informative

J. · 8 October 2025

A really helpful read to anyone who is grieving or who works with those who are grieving. The science is interesting and the psychological interpretations really strike home.

5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant book!

K.B. · 20 March 2025

Brilliant book... very accessible and gives the science behind what's happening in your brain when you grieve. I found it extraordinarily helpful.

5.0 out of 5 stars Well worth reading

M. · 25 January 2024

This is thoroughly recommended for anyone suffering bereavement or close to someone suffering - I belief it will help.Heart wrenching in places but very useful in understanding the process the brain goes through.

5.0 out of 5 stars A brilliant read

A. · 19 July 2024

A fantastic read which is proving to be so helpful in the grief journey of my clients

5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended

l. · 11 November 2022

Mary-Frances O'Connor. is one of the pioneers of the study of the neurology of grief through mapping the grieving brain using functional MRI scans. She has published many scientific papers, but this book is for people who are grieving , and are perhaps confused by their feelings, thoughts and actions. Only a truly great scientist who really understands their subject, could write with such clarity for a general audience. Her explanations for our grief and grieving are both surprising and reassuring.Mary-Frances writes openly and honestly about her own grief and depression, and about her personal relationships. Yet it's not egocentric, it reaches out to others with passion and humour, set in the context of how our grieving brains work. Her enthusiasm for teaching others shines out of the pages - the teacher we all wished we'd had. As someone who also teaches about grief and writes books, this is much appreciated.

5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful

M.P. · 4 April 2022

I have not finished reading this yet, but for me it is being very helpful for me to understand how my brain is working now, after losing my partner whom I loved very deeply all the years she was with me. It contains detailed reasons why I feel as I do and helps me to understand my feeling,and how to react to them.

5.0 out of 5 stars A must for anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one

L.M. · 3 August 2024

Learned a lot from this book. You can also find her videos on You Tube.

1.0 out of 5 stars Ethically dubious experimentation on primates informs this book in places

I. · 21 July 2025

From a personal ethical perspective I could not continue to read this book once it became clear that, although not explicitly stated, one easily infers that it incorporates conclusions derived from primate vivisection.

I was sad when I reached the end...it's that good

A.H. · 24 April 2023

OK, where to start?I lost my wife of 34 years suddenly and unexpectedly almost a year ago. We had a healthy and happy life, and her loss was devastating. Though I was able to be functional enough to take care of my needs, many days seemed to be little more than enduring until the next day. Early on, I read a great book titled, "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye" by Noel and Blair, which helped me. That book was designed to help people who are grieving in the aftermath of the sudden loss of a loved one.A few months ago, I heard about this book, and enthusiastically ordered a copy. It is NOT a self-help book, or guide to grieving or anything like that. This book is different. It's written by one of the leading researchers in the field of clinical psychology and neurobiology, and focuses on what we now know about how the brain changes as we develop a relationship, and how the brain reacts when that relationship is lost.Maybe it's because I am a scientist, but the way O'Connor lays out what we know, how we know it, and what it means was like light after light going on for me as I continued the process of grieving and recovering from the effects of the loss of my wife.While the entire book was interesting and enlightening, I found direct connections between what she writes about and what I have been experiencing, and this book helped me put my experiences into context - a great help, you might even say a great blessing.One thing that surprisingly helped me more than I could have imagined was a 4-page section about insomnia, why it happens, what happens when that happens, and what to do about it. That took away all kinds of stress as I prepared for bed each night. While I may now wake up from time to time more than before my wife passed away, I now sleep much better than I did before reading this book.I can't say enough good about this book, and what it's helped me understand about what my brain is going through in it's best efforts to keep up with what happened and what is happening.I'm now half-way through my second read of this book.5 stars

Sehr hilfreich!

T. · 31 March 2025

Tolles Buch, ich habe viele neue Erkenntnisse bekommen! Obwohl es noch nicht auf Deutsch vorliegt, war es einfach zu verstehen. Klar formuliert, gut strukturiert, kein überkandiedeltes englisches Vokabular.

Amazing book

K.P. · 24 September 2025

Great resource for understanding the why behind behaviour and helps to understand on a practical level. Great resource when working with others with grief. Highly recomend adding this to your grief resources.

Great read

J. · 25 June 2024

A really factual look into how the brain processes grief. I found it really helpful in understanding the “why” behind the emotion. Thanks for sharing this with the world.

Incredibly Validating; Finally, a Scientific Explanation for What I am Feeling

J.G. · 3 February 2022

I pre-ordered this book a few months ago on a whim, and I am so glad that I did. I has been 4 years since I lost my father, and I have been on a journey to better understand my grief and all of the emotions associated since that day. There has been a disconnect in my life that I couldn't explain to my spouse, my therapist...anyone who would listen....a disconnect that at times made me feel "crazy". This book has validated so many previously unexplained feelings - and has finally given me the tools (and words) to better communicate, not only with others who are grieving, but to people like my spouse who have never experienced such profound loss. This book is certainly a turning point for me in this grief journey - and has given me the validation and confidence I need to continue moving forward.A scientific explanation, written in such a thoughtful, meaningful way that the lay person can understand and relate to. Thankful for Dr. O'Connor and this work. Highly recommend.

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